Hi I am Heather and I am a recovering addict. I have been walking my journey with Christ one day at a time for the last 14 years. I began my addictions as a young child and they continued to progress well into my teens. I was constantly trying to fill my "God hole" with many different addictions. I had no control over my family life and I felt like I was in "control" with my addictions. The greatest lie of the adversary was that my addictions were somehow helping me and lessening the pain in my life. When in reality it was hurting me and causing me more pain. The pleasure was only fleeting and happiness eluded me over and over again. I got married and my addictions continued into my marriage. One day I discovered my husband's addiction and that was my rock bottom. I was thrown deeper into my pain and lack of control. It was at that moment that my bishop introduced me to the Addiction Recovery Program. I found that I wasn't the only one struggling with an addiction or living with an addict. I found a fellowship that I had never known. I found a sponsor who eventually helped me find out who God truly was and Christ waiting with open arms. He and only He could heal me of my defects and addictions. I continue to walk the 12 steps with Christ. Christ has healed me and continues to heal me as I walk with Him daily.

My name is Amy, and I am a recovering addict. I tried everything to be free of my addictions, and nothing worked for very long. The substances and behaviors were never the problems; they were my solution to the wrongness, otherness, and general discomfort I felt as I lived life. The real problem was when I tried to live my life without my addictions. Life was messy, unmanageable, and I felt out of control without the substances and behaviors that numbed me to the pain of life.

Sure, I stopped several times; stopping is the easy part. Staying stopped was where the real struggle happened. I tried everything: quitting cold turkey, cognitive brain training, limiting my use to special occasions or times of the day, changes of location, changing friends, reading self-help books, leaving and entering into romantic relationships, changing jobs, being more assertive, declaring that the problem didn't truly exist and that I wasn't an addict, exercising, going to church, putting limits on how much I used, and substituting things for it. The list could go on! No matter what I did, I always returned to the addiction, and over time it grew more significant and more problematic.

Nothing worked because the addiction was never my problem. The real problem was when I tried to live my life without engaging in it. The addictive behaviors and substances were my solution to life; it was my solution to the wrongness, otherness, and general discomfort I felt each day. I had trouble with relationships. I couldn't seem to get my anger under control. I was depressed, anxious, and filled with fear. Life was messy, unmanageable, and I felt out of control without the substances and behaviors that numbed me to the pain of life.

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, the book on which ARP is based, tells me that I have an allergy of the body and an obsession of the mind. When I ingested any of my addictive substances or acted on any of my addictive behaviors, it set off a phenomenon of craving inside me that would not let up until I had MORE! RIGHT AWAY! My mind did not remember the trouble that the addictions caused, what I had lost, how it affected my health, and how it tormented my spirit. The only thoughts in my brain were all reasons I should use and act out. And, oh, was it exciting for the first few seconds! I would get that feeling of "ahh, this is just what I needed." The trouble was, that feeling was fleeting, and the consequences that I forgot about quickly rushed into my life. Again and again. This cycle continued, but each time the consequences grew more and more severe.

Thankfully, I learned that for an addict like me, there is a spiritual solution. This was great news because I had tried everything and had no hope of recovering on my efforts alone. The 12-steps in ARP, based on the 12-steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, can and will help you if you were as desperate as I was.

Once I knew what my problem was and got completely honest with myself, I was in trouble. I say trouble because I knew I couldn't handle my addiction myself. I had already tried everything, and things were getting worse. I needed someone wiser and more powerful than me to lead the way. For an addict like me, only a spiritual solution can work.

That spiritual solution is Jesus Christ. I have believed in Christ all my life, but in my addiction, I questioned whether he could help someone like me. I even wondered if my addiction was severe enough for him to care about. I was led to ARP where I found out just how much Christ is willing and able to help me.

In ARP, I was shown that it is possible to recover if I was willing to work the program set before me. First and foremost, I had to humbly turn my will over to Christ and admit that He knows better than me. I can only get so far on my limited thinking. God's ways, though, are higher than mine, and He knows the beginning from the end. What is more, He loves me and wants me to live with Him again. He knows that I can be a better disciple of Christ and do His will when I am free from the grip of addiction.